Hide and seek

The childhood is the cradle of youth, it is the time for play and blooming, it is the warmth and the charged ambiance of love and security so that a child can grow into a healthy person, both physically and emotionally. It is that time in our life where we get prepared to face and conquer the world, but what happens when a childhood is abused and tortured , what happens when the only game of hide and seek a child plays is when he wants to hide from the crying of a parent and the violence of the other?

What happens when a child hides underneath a table or in a dark corner and shuts his eyes on purpose so he won’t witness what he so desperately wants to stop?

What happens when the only lullaby a child hears is his own moaning and cries for help, how can that song help him sleep when it reminds him further more of what he does not have?

When infancy is prematurely turned to adulthood the kid in us dies before he has the chance to live. Some of us had the luck and the good fortune to be born is a home where nothing but safety and affection rules, where calm means an enjoyable silence that is a result of a harmonious home.

But there are those of us who did not have that good providence to reign over the atmosphere in their dwellings , those who had their childhood raped and taken away from them by that hideous monster called violence and quarrel , that clash that is the cause of a morbid dark silence , that heavy silence of fear and being on alert from an unexpected sudden attack , that child has to be awake even when he is sleeping , for if he gives in to sleep he might be awaken to a morose reality of being an adult child who survives one day at a time in a home that he never feels home..

If we are the result of our childhood then I declare the false pretense of this saying and I refute it , because we are affected by what happens to us in our early days , but I refuse to believe that those incidents can shape or destroy the adults we become, for we and we alone are responsible for our own happiness, it s either we make a mummy out of our dead killed parts , either we restore those left parts that can modify the whole about us and not only the bits and pieces who were violated in our formative years , either we let misfortune break us or we can turn the ship around and sail to new seas away from the one who almost made us drawn.

We can avenge our lost play years, by celebrating and nourishing the little child inside of us, by keeping the play in the midst maturity , by wearing the smile of a victorious adult and not the smile of a victimized child!

We can play the game of hide and seek so that we can seek new light buds even in the most dark black places inside of us , we can hide from our own selves inside the caves of our being, but it will not make the pain go away, it will only camouflage it into self dupery and denial, so let us not hide but only seek more life and more colors in a cold grey existence.

To you the Broken child of yesterday I say:" Rise from the ashes of your death, soar high and away from what is in the past, fly towards the future and enjoy your residence in the present for if you have made it so far and if you survived it through what makes you think you cannot win the battle between yourself and you , between the adult you are and the child you were, never surrender to the ghost of the past do not struggle the presence of the present , but rather celebrate your own strength , your own rise and fall for you were an abused child by chance you can be a conqueror man by choice so go call the new developed child in you can come out and play to win!"

Lina Hanna Hanna.