Lina H Hanna

Lina H Hanna

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

When depression strikes

A vacant storm has attacked me, a cold heart took over the warmth of my emotions, a dry mind has thrown me into the void of nothingness, and a shattered consciousness has kept me from gathering my ruins , they were all over the place and never in just one space; A state of being which I hated and cursed while I dwelled in a vicious circle of going back to where It started and not being able to get out; you know that feeling when you fall into a black crack and you just keep falling and falling, you descend and collapse until you wish you finally hit the ground because you are so tired of declining …

They say the only way, when you are down, is up, the same ground we fall on its floor is the ground we use to get up again, we are fragile creatures , we absorb all the noise and absurdity and hurt around us and somehow think we are invincible but the truth is we are not, we are susceptible to the slightest harm that can be inflicted upon us and whether we hide from it, we mask it, we postpone it or we embrace it and endure the status quo, the pain is and will always be a human condition, a signal of health since it will give us an indication that something somewhere is not okay and needs to be noticed and treated.

And so are our souls, we are not unbreakable, we are prone to many psychological sickness as we go through life from one challenge to another, one hardship after another, until the stress takes over our lives and we become strangers to the persons we think we are, rage and sadness prevail and everything turns to black and every voice and even the slightest word becomes a source of disturbance, so we start to push our loved ones away because of our attitude and our state of mind.

We become sedated, numb to any positive feeling and we slip into depression, where everything and everyone are but one, where heat and cold stand at one distance, and we start to miss our laughter and wonder what happened to us? We demand our awareness to be back, we want to feel the rush of blood again, we lie to ourselves thinking that if we go out more and be social butterflies, it will go away, or if we spend money on things we do not actually need, the sadness will leave, or if we ran from facing what we feel, it will cease ; well guess what? it will not go away by these means, do not dupe yourself.

The only way is through love, when a hand is stretched out to us, when there is this someone who loves us even when we are not lovable, when we feel we are not alone in this, when we feel we are needed and that our smile means the world to someone who feeds from it and depends on it, when we keep our faith in a better tomorrow and in a loving God that will bring us through it all , only then can we emerge and rise above the pond of our suffering.

In the eyes of that someone who makes us feel alive, who summons the angelic happy thoughts hidden in us, that person who says it all with no words, that person who reassures you that everything will be alright just by sitting next to you, that person who colors your black and white vision , that person who pours his optimistic water into the wilderness of your being so that when you are together everything will come to life, and the world becomes a garden filled with flowers and aromas that can arm you against a world that cannot but forsaken you and leave you deceived.

Love is the cure whatever the illness might be, to have a heart that answers to your desires without you having to ask is all you need to proceed … Love is your only corridor out of this prison…

Lina Hanna Hanna.

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