Knowing ourselves

“I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, Sir, because I’m not myself you see” Said Alice who lived in Wonderland.

Wonderland is the land of the ” No Wonder” where everything is possible and when all the nonesense make sense , where imagination is the only reality Alice knows of!

Lina Hanna Hanna

” I can’t explain myself…. i m not Myself” what a bold statement! How many of us have the courage to admit that lack of our self knowledge and our true colors…? Oh no , sure we will not, we are not in Wonderland, this is the “Enlightened Land”…

Are we the persons we think we are? or are we strangers to ourselves?

Why is it that there are days when we wake up and feel like we can conquer the world and we can soar high in the sky and nothing can bring us down, that we are capable of achieving the impossible…

There are days when we struggle to get out of bed, where the minor problem seems to break us, we feel so fragile, so insignificant, so small, so automated in everything we do, the same faces we see starts to bore us.

the same places we once loved now turned into neutral places… places we want to escape from to some other new undiscovered territories…

We want the mystery in our lives, it makes us feel we exist more, it seduces us with its charm, tempted with the “new”, the “surprising” , we want to feel astonished , even shocked while we are in that intoxication state of discovery, when exploring an unfamiliar grounds…

Yet we need the stability to feel balanced in our psychological as well as our intellectual being… we want what we already know, it procures us with a “fake ” sense of security… that same old house, that same old friend… that same old place.. we are creatures of Habit! and we are strange creatures too..

The dose of adventure , we crave it, the feeling of being rekless frees us from always analyzing and thinking of the consequences of each and every single action we get involved into… we want to try new things, we want to go where we never went before, we want to loose ourselves in order to find ourselves again…

the “Play” is enchanting, it gives us power to set for the games we like to engage playing … it makes us feel light hearted, edgy and dark….

But we are not always in the winning status.. we can risk to loose… and it is in this very act of risking of not being so sure that lies all what ties us to our ” I don’t think i am myself” statement.

How can we ever be sure when we are ourselves and when we are not in the midst of all this arnachy and chaos that reigns our existence? How can we explain ourselves? how can we explain the insane actions we do in a world that is supposed to be ruled by order and harmony even in the laws of nature?

Will we ever reach that point where we can say” I can explain myself… this is myself” doing this and avoiding that?or will we each be our own Alice in her WonderLand? Are we wandering because we are lost? or because we are trying to find our way?