A frosted heart, a frozen self who aches and longs for a warm ray of love, a heated emotion to melt away the ice of a lonely cut off being, is how we feel at times of isolation and solitude, when we yearn for a kiss that can reach the vacant passages of our souls, a hug to embrace the abandoned fragments of our center, a smile that can light up our inner world and leave us drunk and keen for what is behind it..
The feeling that we are alone in the midst of a crowd, to be disconnected from all that we are attached to, to hear voices as a blurry noise, to look at all faces and feel like they are all one single face, to look at many different images and yet they all appear alike, to lose the ability to discern colors and see life with a black and white vision, to watch ourselves from outside and craft a crack between our inner world and the outer planet we inhabit, is the same as being tourists in our own country , sensing homesickness in the focal point of our homes, to feel like we went into exile in the middle of society , that is what feeling lonely means to me.
Being alone and lonely are not the same sometimes we are surrounded with people and yet we feel incoherent, we are separated from our neighboring while we occupy its spaces, sometimes we have someone who is close in distance just far at heart, they look in our eyes and see nothing, no sparkle, no glow just an empty look, they fail to build a bridge to cross over our territories, they lack the capacity of touching our very core even if they are touching our bodies, they cannot ignite the fire beneath the ashes they made upon our sensitivity, we live in a state of constant hunger while the banquet is right in front of our eyes…
Sometimes even if we were alone physically we feel populated by the presence of a far away entity , by a person who is absent from our eyes yet present in the fiber of our being, and even if we were in the desert when we sense his attendance it turns into gardens and waterfalls of passion and delight…
We are emotional creatures, we feed from love and sympathy and the feeling of being wanted and desired and longed for; there is no greater pleasure underneath the sky that can compare to having someone to go home to, a warm bed and an affectionate heart that hears our inner song and sings it with us whether the tunes were happy ones or gloomy ones, nothing matches the awareness of a person that lives within our eyes and breathes through our lungs..
Always search for that one person that when in his arms you sense as if the whole world and every person you lack in your life is right there in the warmth of his sweet embrace, when you are there in that moment when you feel you have everything you could ever need when together then kiss the heaven‘s angels and make the hell’s devil jealous!
Lina Hanna Hanna.
No comments:
Post a Comment